The Defining Acts
                             by William Theseus

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             The Defining Acts

Tragedy does not bring tears to my eyes,
Nor does the animal nature of Man--
I am steeled to the callousness of god;
But the kindness of  a stranger,
An act of compassion,
An act of pity--
The defining acts of the true Humans--
A God rising from the beast,
The wonder of evolution
And the glory of Man--
Bring forth tears of pride and wonder.


    Bubba Bubba

A great Bubba Bubba
In the blue, blue, beyond?
Me, I can't descry it.
Me, I just don't buy it.


          In Your Bed

You can never really know
The one sleeping in your bed;
But you see them more clearly
When you see them less dearly.


   Two Minds

Liberal minds
Search for answers.
Conservative minds
Already have the answers.


                       Family

Feeding and breeding, breeding and feeding--
Trapped like all animals in nature's plan.
Feeding and breeding, breeding and feeding,
They call it god's sacred family plan.
Feeding and breeding, breeding and feeding,
They march with smugness to the promised land.
To what purpose this profusion of birth,
That befouls both the heavens and the earth?


                   Move On

You say she's fallen for another man--
Then there's something that you must understand,
About the way a woman loves a man--
She will never, never love you again.


            Raison d'Etre

How would the snobs ever survive?
There's no way they could stay alive,
Should god in his wisdom design
There be no poetry, opera, or wine.


Nothing To Say

If you have
Nothing to say,
Don't say it.


    Don't Compare

Don't compare yourself
With anyone else;
But live your own life
And be your own self.
Be your own master,
It's never too late,
Set your own purpose,
And guide your own fate.


           Hither and Yon

The winds scattered the seeds of life
Hither and yon upon the earth;
And Man arose and ate the seeds,
Then set about his noble deeds;
And nothing cared that he had come,
And nothing cared when he had gone;
And the winds blew hither and yon
And scattered his dust on the earth.


   Spheres of the Brain

A man may be a genius
In one sphere of the brain
And a complete idiot
In another sphere.
Newton was a supra-genius
In the mathematical sphere of the brain;
But in the metaphysical sphere
He reasoned no better
Than a Bantu Bushman.


                 The Force

What is the force civilizing mankind:
Philosophers claim it's philosophy
And priests claim it's spirituality;
Not likely--the main force is womankind.
Mothers are civilizers of children
And wives are the civilizers of men.


       Excuse

There is an excuse
For being stupid--
It is congenital;
But there is no excuse
For being ignorant--
It is consequential.


     The Black Beast

Beware of the black beast
That lurks in every breast
And makes the little boy
Destroy the robin's nest.


           Proper Folks

Compared to a bowel movement,
Sex is not much improvement;
And yet most folks still do it,
But proper folks eschew it.
They are though, sometimes disgraced
By old Lady Palm's embrace.


   Unpardonable Sin

It is an unpardonable sin,
For young girls to flirt with old Men.
'Their flirting is only a mock
That says--eat your heart out old cock.


       Old Bachelor's Excuse

The kind of woman I could trust,
I didn't want.
The kind of woman I couldn't trust,
I wanted--
But I couldn't trust her.


 The Spitting Sport

Ah, the national pastime,
What a pleasure to behold:
The spitting and the spitting;
The spitting and the beaning;
The spitting and scratching balls;
The spitting and the gang fights;
And the spitting and the spitting.

You do us proud with the spitting;
You do us proud with the beaning;
You do us proud scratching balls;
You do us proud with the gang fights;
But something is missing--
You need some John McEnroes
And also some Bobby Knights.



           True Artist

The true artist makes his own rules
And is sole  master of his art.
He yields to no criticism
Or is influenced by any praise.
He accepts no authority
As the arbiter of his work.


                 A Parody

While wasting some of life's precious time,
A little parody came to mind:
Three transvestites dressed as Dixie Chicks,
Doing a gig as the Chicksy Dicks.

A Father's Advice

To win friends
And influence people,
Have devoted slaves
And many lovers:
Be generous with the men,
Feed the dogs,
And flatter the women.


          So Precise

Why is copulate acceptable
But fuck is not--
Because nobody thinks they copulate
And everybody thinks they fuck.
Its so precise, it ain't nice.


Poor Philosophy

Poor philosophy
Is merely word play.
Nothing emerges,
Nothing converges.
Myth gets the action
And satisfaction.
Religion woos all
With it's siren call.


    Poor Old Men

Pity the poor old men
Whose major concern
Is still the vagina,
But with the added affliction
Of the angina.


         The Fuck

Life is all about the fuck
And it's aftermath.
All else is ancillary. 


       Adam's Lament

Some Men like the smell of gas;
Others like sex in the ass;
Strange are these creatures called Men--
And all because of Eve's Sin.


                        Bimbo

When a married Man takes up with a bimbo,
There is a little secret he doesn't know:
Though she enjoys screwing him in some
     measure,
Screwing his wife gives her the greatest
     pleasure.


      Little Kansas Hussies

The little Kansas hussies
Sitting in a booth at McDonalds
Impudently asked as I walked by,
"Wha'chew gonna do in there?"
I ignored them and proceeded to
     the restroom.
As I came out another hussy asked,
"Wha'jew do in there?"
Thinking to turn their pert
Little juvenile faces red,
"I Jerked off", I said;
But far from turning red,
The hussies laughed, clapped
And hooted instead--
And my face turned red,
And I fled.


 The Spitting Sport

Ah, the national pastime,
What a pleasure to behold:
The spitting and the spitting;
The spitting and the beaning;
The spitting and scratching balls;
The spitting and the gang fights;
And the spitting and the spitting.

You do us proud with the spitting;
You do us proud with the beaning;
You do us proud scratching balls;
You do us proud with the gang fights;
But something is missing--
You need some John McEnroes
And also some Bobby Knights.


     All Mothers

All mothers are liars;
Fathers, more circumspect.
Al Capone's mother said:
Alphonse is no hoodlum--
People are just jealous
Because he's a success. 


MENSA

An acronym--
Mentally
Endowed
Nonentity's
Snob
Association


      Screws Best

If a woman
Puts the horns on a man,
He must get even
Or lose self-respect--
He who screws last,
Screws best.


            Judas

To seduce a friends lover
And claim he was no real friend--
Thereby excusing the sin--
Makes one the lowest of men.


   Choice

To dominate
Is our animal imperative;
To commiserate
Is our human superlative


             The Edge

Things do not tend to fall apart;
The center will usually hold.
Things start to shrivel at the edge,
Get smelly, and start to grow mold.


       Pussy Pussy

Pussy, pussy--meow;
What luscious hair--meow;
And lovely tail--meow;
Come here pussy--not now.


          Ball Games

Women's ball is poor sport;
All ball games are balls games--
All dominance dramas--
A glorification
Of Man's animal nature.  


                  Creations

Man-made gods with names are  mere creations
And different creations with different names
Are not the same creation,
Therefore not the same god


            Faint Heart

The faint heart
Never fucked the fair maiden--
Not true--
The fair maiden
Sometimes fucked the faint heart.


        Antinomians

Homo Sapiens is an animal
Whose exalted goal is to be Human.
Some actually achieve this worthy goal;
Most are content to merely save their
     soul.

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